Monday, August 25, 2008

WHAT is my deal?

Seriously- what is my problem? I am no where near where my excitement level should be right now. Am I broken? I have not been myself lately. I leave for England FRIDAY! only THREE full days left. I should be jumping for joy, bouncing off the walls, shouting HORRAY at the top of my lungs while doing toe touches and backflips on my way from the living room to the kitchen. So why after all these months of anticipation am I am suddenly filled with anxiety?

Everyone I have talked to recently plays like a broken record. 
"Taylor- you are going to have so much fun!" 
"Taylor this is the chance of a lifetime" 
"You will remember this forever"
While I find these words comforting and true my emotions are everywhere I don't even know what to think or feel.

It's the goodbyes....
Leaving work and work friends of 2 years 
Leaving college station my home away from home that I surprisingly grew to love of 4 years
(that includes football season & delta gamma)
Leaving my roommates and friends
Leaving mexican food
Leaving my extended family
My brother/best friend leaving for Florida
Natalie leaving to go back to school
Elise leaving to go to grad school
Pham leaving to work in NY
Leaving sam. period.
Leaving my parents. 

Leaving the only life I know for a life I cant even begin to predict or imagine..

This is too much sadness for one month. 
Thank goodness Laura is coming with me- the only tangible string that connects the past with the future.
Sometimes I am too sentimental. I need to skip over this mushyness and get over it. I am going to England for pete-sakes. 

Some things I am praying for. Your prayers are welcome as well.
1. A safe arrival for me, Laura, Colette and Laurel. 
2. My students that I have not yet met. Pray that I am able to influence, teach and affect their lives the way God intends me too and that they do the same.
3. For my mentors at St. Annes School. 
4. That I pursue God's plan for me whatever it may be and whether I like it or not!

Thanks- they are much appreciated :)

Thursday, August 7, 2008

THE END OF AN ERA!!!

Sunday I left life as I once knew it. A whirlwind of emotions left me excited yet empty. I will preface with the fact that my last week in college station was spent with a nagging cold that hindered me from doing the typical last week things as a college student. No matter how bad I felt I managed to force myself up to Daisy Dukes Thursday night for some country dancing which has easily grown to be one of my favorite things to do. All week I had been anticipating the return of THE Sam Lubinsky which I was able to see Saturday when he came into College Station for a wedding. And it couldn't have been more amazing. 2 months is too long. But when it came down to it, sick or not, I just felt weird. It just seemed like no matter what I was doing I wasn't doing enough to savor my last week. I felt uncomfortable, anxious and nervous- which is similar to how I feel on New Years Eve. I hate when the count down begins. I always get so anxious- Like oh crap! I only have 10 seconds left to make 2008 memorable, to make 2008 purposeful- what can i do to make 2008 a GREAT year and not just another year that flew by without reason. Well these are the emotions I had as my last week of a college student- Never again will I be in the same town where everyone is my age- where I will know everyone at a restaurant on a Friday night, at the grocery store or at the dance clubs and bars. Sunday my dad and brother came down to help me move out. It was the quickest move of my four years but definitely the most depressing. All three of my roommates where there when my dad drug me to the car. I was giving hugs and saying my goodbyes and I just broke out into tears- bawling! Its kind of embarrassing but I was SO upset. I have had a blast in college and Im NOT READY TO LEAVE!!! I will miss so many things about college but here are some things that I will miss the most about my roommates.


Alex-

I will miss the way she talks. her quirky phrases and british accents. her nicknames for boys and stories that go along with them. the food that she cooks that turns our house in to a wonderful smelly goodness fragrance for hours. her love of so you think you can dance and our time together when we watch those shows. her screaming at random things. her LOUD screaming at random things. the fact that she loves a character in a book (because I do to). the fact that the character she is in love with is a vampire who marries and has vampire babies. her cute prada glasses. the fact that she loves animals and loves Lily as much if not more than I do. her dvd collection because it includes across the universe, gladiator, the holiday and everything inbetween. the way her and natalie get a long with my brother and have been appointed by alex (my brother) as his other sisters- i couldn't be happier! haha how she religiously stalks perez hilton.com and updates us on the latest and greatest. everything

Caroline-

I will miss her quick and witty responses- I only wish I could come up with half the stuff she does. Her music playing loud and on repeat for the whole street to know that yes indeed Caroline Brown is obsessed with Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis. The way she gets hooked (and in turn gets me hooked) on DVD of TV series. The way she looks at life. ummmmmmm all of her boy stories. how she can survive off bagel bites and queso. how she knows she needs to study but doesn't anyway. our love of high school musical/hairspray because we are 13 and like Zac Efron. the way she is like a magnet when she walks into a room because everyone wants to be around her. I GOT TO LIVE WITH HER! her spontaneity. the night we broke into kyle field. how she loves fish camp- i didn't know it was possible to love an organization period. her ability to forgive easily. when she hangs up the phone and says ok byeeeeeeeeeee. my goodness. everything

Natalie-

I will miss the times when I sing in the shower loudly and natalie finishes the next verse from her room. I can sit at my desk in my room with the door open and talk to her at her desk in her room. the way she only eats microwavable food and chicken salad. that phase when she ate a lot of corn. the fact that she didn't care that I used her straightener about everyday for 2 years. the way she caught on to Alex's accents and now talks in a british accent all the time. her scenarios. her love of matt wertz and dave barnes and how she drove with me to south carolina to see them in concert. her advice at 2 in the morning. her quirky things. like how she high kicks randomly. how we can brilliantly rap together because we know what each other is going to say. the weird head thing we do when we move side to side and back and forth. dancing in the hallway between our rooms. singing greyhound by dave barnes. fighting over matt wertz. nibbles and the fact that alex and her are obsessed with miniature donkeys. the way she is kind to everybody- even people that aren't kind to her. our unmatchable friendship- everything



Our last day in the TANC house with the poster we made for the great depression party