"Karen" is beautiful. Dark hair precisely pulled back, perfectly trimmed fringe across her forehead, enchanting olive eyes and perfect tiny teeth just like her. Everything about her is perfect. She is poised and mostly unemotional. Pensive. Brilliant. Hates coloring.
"Karen" tends to just show up places. She is so quiet that I will turn around to find her standing 6 inches away from me staring at me. Like those scary movies...the ones with the creepy children. ALMOST like that. except I love "Karen". One time I thought there was a bug crawling on me..only to turn around and find "Karen" softly tapping my arm.
But now...I have to brag. I made Karen laugh! Like out loud. Not only is it hard to make her smile. It is close to impossible for her to out loud chuckle! I mentioned before how Karen is my unofficial time keeper. And when I say unofficial I mean she takes it upon her self daily to tell me we have "14 minutes of class Ms Terry" "We have 8 and a half minutes of class left Ms Terry" unless I am busy and thats when the creepy tilt and point come in to play.
Thats right, in the midst of a crazy, noisy classroom, if Karen and I lock eyes within the last two minutes of class its as if everything moves in slow motion. The loud screams and complaints are suddenly muffled. Paper airplanes fly behind her head at tortoise speed and I feel as if my vision is slowly zooming in on only her and her creepy tilt and point. Its as if nothing else in that moment matters. Something you'd see in a romantic movie.
Instead I'm in a trance with my eleven year old student that looks seven. (FML) The Karen Klassic is next. Once she knows she has my attention she will slowly tilt her head to her left (my right) and point patiently at her pink and black Roxy watch three times. Up. and down. Up. and down. Up. and down. Usually I am broken from this hypnotism when reality hits me. Literally. Probably by a rubber band or paper football from the unruly children who have noticed my temporary absence.
To control my classroom behavior I have decided there is only one thing and one thing only that can prevent the Karen Klassic. Look away. Pretend not to see her. Ignore her.
Would maybe work on anyone BUT Karen. Instead she now has initiated a....wave. Wide-eyed and desperate she WAVES from across the room until I look....when she then pulls a tilt and point. A Karen Klassic.
So the other day she waved. I looked and her points were quicker than normal. More urgent. Rather than taking 5 seconds per point it was like all 3 in 1 second. We were in the middle of a review game and I was already in a goofy mood (when is that not a true statement). I see this new version of the Karen Klassic and bust out my own move, entire class watching. I respond with a series of "baseball" signals which include but are not limited to miming a row boat, throwing out a fishing pole and winding it back in, pulling my ears and blowing out my cheeks and scratching of the underarms...the way a monkey would do.
Apparently teachers don't do stuff like that. Because the entire class went into an uproar of laughter. Including little joyful and pleased with herself "Karen"
Was the impossible accomplished? I'd say so.