Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I had my first "workmare"



Workmare= a work related nightmare.

The grand old state of Texas decides to officially test the knowledge and skills of our students in a week long overly strict, stressful process and in doing so unofficially increases the amount of alcohol purchased ANYWHERE they serve happy hour by 19837321232%.

The intensity/pressure of the test sends students in to breakdowns, nausea, and anxiety attacks. The still unknown results of the test sends teachers into breakouts, nausea and sleepless nights. However science isn't tested in 6th grade so that cant be why my night was so..sleepless. Instead I was fighting the nervousness tearing away in my stomach for another reason.

You see, I still have to hand out the test to the kids. Due to idiot teachers before me Texas has had to clamp down and leave NO room for mistake. Instead they leave competent people a SCRIPT (I have to read it word for word) with a set of rules on how to do things including how to take attendance and how to make a seating chart. The tests can not leave my sight. I take them all to lunch, I take them to the bathroom, I do not put them down unattended. I am not allowed to read, grade papers, check email, do a crossword, make a to-do list or even HOLD A PENCIL. I AM allowed to watch the students bubble in their scantron from 8:30 am to 2:30 pm.....and maybe count ceiling tiles

Guess what.  when the students finish- the only thing they are allowed to do is READ or SLEEP....until the WHOLE school finishes. My class was done at 11:30. Try to keep anyone quiet for 3 unnecessary hours. yeah....FML

Ok back to the point- Being a TAKS test administrator virgin- there are many things to worry about
1) Am I doing this right?
2) Am I doing this right?
3) Did I do everything right?
and 4) where am I going to Happy Hour?

In my workmare last night I left the room to give back a triple beam balance I had legitimately borrowed in real life a couple days ago. In the midst of my progress I suddenly realized "OH SHIT...im not supposed to leave the room and the students unattended. What had originally been a quick trip to the room next door I now found myself in the freaking JFK airport battling my way through mobs of people that included animals from the Amazon, scary people from the past and midgets. All the while I am suffocating in quicksand and unable to run.

When I finally get to the room the police and the three principals are waiting for me. Shit.
"WHY DID YOU LEAVE these TESTS unattended?" they question. To which I remember thinking in my dream...all they care about are the stupid tests! So I woke up at 430, 5, 515, 530, 6 and 630 sick to my stomach about TAKS test- not healthy. (atleast the nightmare had sloths and parrots in it)


"So Taylor what did you do all day while your students sat in silence"
I sat in silence.


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