Wednesday, June 30, 2010

La Beast Goes Salsa Dancing

Alright Kids....Lets just talk about what you missed last night.

You missed la beast in all her glory. In all her sass  awkwardness. It is no secret that I have potential to make any situation uncomfortable and embarrassing but this was just too classic.

Let me tell you a little story.
A story I like to call

"La Beast goes Salsa Dancing"

Fun Friend Jordan and I arrive late to Salsa Dancing lessons at Speakeasys down on Congress. Tall sassy salsa instructor calls us out "If you are late you have to pay an extra $10" I  look around uneasy. Muffle up a pathetic laugh and quickly look down at my feet. Fun Friend Jordan shouts "BUT WERE EXTRA ENTHUSIASTIC" calling all attention and all dancers to look our way. You know how I do.. with all eyes on me....Its impossible for me to make a normal face or even look anything close to a class act. What the heck am I going to do at my wedding? (far future) So now does this mean I have to be enthusiastic? Sass Instructor is impressed and lets us slide.

We learn the basics as a mass and then its time to "Partner Up". Im thinking exactly what you're thinking. Yes, this story is about to take a turn towards "very entertaining". Partner Bill was 40 and way too tall. All he could do was grin but I think its because he was taller and I was cute. Each rotated partner was equally as bad and equally as liger-ific as the next. When Liger # 7 was all sorts of wrong I looked to Jordan wondering why she thought this was a good idea.

Lessons came to a close and the bar was beginning to fill with new ligers which are now standing on the outskirts watching me awkward around with the current ligers. Notice how I didnt say dance around? Because what we were doing was in no resemblance of a dance.  I sat out the next dance and made my observations. There are only 2 types of men at this bar. Dancers and Ligers. No inbetweens yet a very fine line.

Dancer #1 promptly bolts to Jordan and I. "Would you like to dance?" He offers a hand. Before I know it we are on the dance floor and he is pulling all sorts of tricks. Tricks that I have not learned. One called a hairbrush. It requires you to be sexy. Can you picture this hot mess of me trying to pull off this impromptu sexiness? I can do choreographed, planned out sexiness but NOT I repeat NOT the hairbrush kind of sexy.

The hairbrush begins with Dancer #1 spinning me and ending with my hand close to my ear. From there he lets go. now I look like Im doing half the macarena. Great. What the hell do I do with this hand?!? So I pull it up into "high five" position, look side to side and ask "what do I do with this hand?" in the meantime my feet must have noticed the commotion and have stopped moving.

"Its the hair brush girl!"  He was a very attractive black man so reread that again in a black accent rather than a gay accent. (I sound shallow, but I'm really not)
Apparently he lets go of my hand so I can use it to comb through my hair and the rest of my body like a hairbrush/body roll. Ha! Alright! He also thinks I need to practice my sexiness. I know this because he continued to make me do the hairbrush.

Liger#7 from the lessons was back. Picture skinny, nerdy, Indian wearing Ed Hardy (Yes...those exist). Designer jeans, flashy belt and an embroidered graphic tee tucked in. Score.  "Lets go over here, where we have more room"
I chime "In front of everyone?"
"Yes" in broken English. I look around. The bar was beginning to fill up with normal people. Attractive males. Ones that will now think I cant dance. I suffer through Liger #7. Towards the end I realized that I had actually been mumbling my thoughts.
"Op! I guess I was supposed to go to the right"
"oh. ok. looks like Im going for a spin" 

I think the part that bothered me the I had NO idea what was coming next. I am a dancer. A Good dancer but with these jokes you would never guess I could dance on beat. I quickly bolt back to the table. Fun Friend Jordan had gotten pictures.

I had noticed two class acts maneuver their way to a table near by. Very cute. Both of them. Very straight. Sounds like this could be potential fun.  Before I know it Dancer #2 leads me to the dance floor. "Hi Im Taylor."
"Hi Taylor, Im Tope"
 "Like the color?"

Dancer#2 was another attractive yet younger black man. He was so cute. Smooth, gentle, freakin amazing smile. We actually danced and I was feeling a little bit better about life. He didnt pull any hairbrush tricks BUT I still needed to work on my sexy. I began concentrating on my hips. I put a little sass in them to make them flowy. It doesn't come naturally.

"Look you're a natural!" That was sweet of him. Dancer #2 had noticed my hip addition and was humoring me with encouraging lies.

I was too distracted to be sexy. Dancer #2's friend was still sitting at the table....watching us. Remember I don't do well with people watching me be awkward. Let alone extremely handsome ones.

Fun friend Jordan meets us back at the table. The 4 of us talk and all I can do is drool over this handsome kid.  Before I know it I am ripped away by Liger # 8.

Liger # 8 is as tall as me, 55, long nasty pony, faded white jeans, white shoes, and gay. He would say things like
"You got it girl!" followed by a wink and a finger point. Not a terrible dancer but a character for sure. Right when I started to get in the groove of this Liger I notice Handsome friend had made his was to the dance floor.

Shit. He. Can. Dance.
HE.CAN.DANCE. White Boy can Dance! Liger # 8 noticed my mind absence. Maybe it was the drool or maybe it was the fact I had stopped moving my feet.
He responds "Girlfriend- Im over here"

The next couple songs I cant take my eyes off White Boy. He is mesmerizing. Dancer #2 informed me that he is a salsa instructor as a hobby.  I turn down other Ligers just so I can watch this hunk of a man tear up the dance floor. And all the girls he dances with are gooooood. They have no problem being sexy. White Boy has seen me with Liger # 7 and Liger # 8. There is no way that he's going to ask me to dance after that.

White Boy comes back to the table. "Taylor, do you know how to cha cha?" Shit. Shit. Shit. I wasn't expecting this. I'm nervous.
"No. Im Nervous" I grin adorably to make up for any embarrassments that haven't happened yet
"Because you are a salsa instructor!"
"Let me show you"

He whipped me close to him. Like in the know how they do. We were cha cha-ing alright. And I had NO problem being sexy. Left, Right, Back, Spin, now he spins, hand behind the back, hairbrush, double spin, dip, back, open right, open left, now the same only he's behind me. Did you catch that hairbrush in there? I pulled off the hairbrush! I got down with my bad self! My hips moved the way they should. White Boy was daaaaaaaaammmmmnnnnn good.

 Right in the midst of our intense salsa connection he pulls a new trick. He spins himself and leaves my left hand by his ear. So Naturally I think what do I do with this hand? Its at his ear? Where have I seen this before? Oh yes! I know!

So I hairbrush him.

uh oh. That was wrong. I felt it immediately. I give him the look of "i'm sorry that wasn't right was it?"

He looks at me (so adorably) "Did you just hairbrush me?" I say almost simultaneously "I just hairbrushed you Im so sorry!"
This could go either way. Solidify a dancing partner for the rest of the night or feed me to the hungry ligers.

"Its ok I liked the double hairbrush (wink), lets do it again" Phew! And there I am off spinning again.
"You said its your first night to ever salsa dance?" says attractive white boy
"Yes" I was hoping it wasn't that obvious
"You are quick learner" and immediately dips me for the sexiest dip dipped on that dance floor. The kind where his hand traces my body a bit before lashing me back up to his body...never missing a beat.

HOT! HOT! HOT!  We were on fire and I pictured Liger #7 throwing his hands up in defeat before walking out of the bar.  Just kidding. I wasn't picturing anything but me and White Boy.

La beast goes Salsa dancing was an unexpected adventure I did not foresee taking at 6pm earlier that evening. But La Beast WILL be going salsa dancing again :)

Stay tuned for more stories.

The End

Sunday, June 27, 2010

yes yes yes

Yes Please!
 I will gladly sport this retro style suit. 
So happy its coming back into style.

Sorry boys. 
I know you're not pleased
but its more skin than my retro one piece from last summer.

Saturday, June 26, 2010


This song has been on La Beasts life soundtrack the past 48 hours. If you were to peek into my adorable 1940's home you would see me washing the dishes by hand to this song. Dancing around my room while I clean it...bolting around town in Pearl girl to this song and even running at the gym to this song. If you look even closer you will see my hands playing the air drums while i sprint on the treadmill....its very subtle though. Cant scare the strangers. 

MMM The chorus just makes me wanna DANCE.

Wonderful By Annie Lennox

Off to Watch USA kill it!

Have a fabulous Saturday

Friday, June 25, 2010

The good Lord didn't bless me with physical strength

Lets just talk about how I am not fit to take care of other people.

I can barely take care of myself but Traci is thanking the high heavens tonight that I am not her sole care giver. EVERY time I try to help Traci into her chair this is what happens.

I. Drop. Her.

i. DROP. her.
Every single time. 
Well. f. 

now what? it is almost impossible to lift her from that position when we are giggling uncontrollably. 

Poor TB.
Sorry boo

Thursday, June 24, 2010

What I love about Austin ::: {Oh Hey...}

hey cupcake

TB and my aunt are in town checking out the awesome treatment center Roll 2 Walk in downtown Austin. After her therapy sessions we have all the time in the world to play.
So we do.
And then we eat cupcakes.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Weekend in Gavli

So my weekend in Galveston looked a lot like this

with a lot of this
and more of this

I was about to do this

until I saw this

So then I did more of this

Live. Laugh. Eat lots of food.

(and be around water as much as possible)

la beast

Alias is the one rockin the wakeboard. Because shes a professional. At everything. even Life.

What I love about Austin ::: {Kayaking @ Town Lake}

 Last week when brother was here, I took him Kayaking at Town Lake.
Our arms hurt.
Its harder than it looks.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Happy Fathers Day

Happy Father's Day, Faja

I know everyone else thinks their dad is the greatest but no one elses dad is as kind, selfless, generous, loving, intelligent, entertaining, handsome, understanding, goofy, hard working, corny, forgiving or as involved as my father. For an earthly father...he is as good as it gets.  He is the definition of a man...a gentleman, and I hope future babies daddy (aka a husband) is every ounce of a father to my children as my father has been to me. 

My dad always answers my phone calls... even if he is in a meeting...just to make sure everything is ok. He never raises his voice. He thinks he is so funny that he laughs at his jokes before he reaches the punch line (thats where I get it from). If you think of the most obvious thing in a situation, my dad will turn it into a corny joke. When I tell him " are being corny" he responds "How corny? Corn on the cob? or creamed corn?".....Told you.

Before work in the morning my dad would kiss me on the forehead and wish me a "great and groovy day"until the day I moved out. He attended all of my soccer games, choir concerts and dance recitals and anything else I made him go to ;). He has a very distinct cough, sneeze and a clearing of the throat. Brother and I have imitations down to a T. He is a mentor and a friend. I can turn to him for anything.
So maybe Im bragging...
just a bit...
maybe thats what I wanted.

I love my daddy!

(Forgive the terrible quality of the photos. I sent brother on a mission today to find pictures and email them to me......He took pictures of the pictures.....with his iphone....then emailed them. Oh Brother)

Sorry I couldnt be there with you this weekend to hug your neck and tell you how great you are!
Ps . can I have some money?

la beast

Sunday, June 20, 2010


I had some great quality time with my girl this weekend. We hit the road Friday night and headed to the coast. The top was down the whole 3 hours and I soaked in the cool summer night. The stars lit the way on the small country roads and with the summer smells I felt like a kid again. 

We all know that Pearl is perfect, but little Pearl Girl had been hiding from us her best secret of all! 
She has Satellite Radio! 
The previous owner is so stinkin' wealthy that he is still paying the monthly or yearly fee for Sirius. 
Ill be taking full advantage of that until he figures it out :)

So we drove listening to the tunes from the 50's and 60's where I pretended I lived in that much simpler time. 

Friday, June 18, 2010

What I love about Austin ::: {Sno Beach}

has the best sno cones in town
hands. down.

their newest flavor...drum roll please

alright. you know ill be going back there daily.

la beast

What I love about Austin::: {Barton Springs}

Abra my loveable roomie came home today for 24 hours! Where was she?
Its ok to make fun of her. In fact PLEASE remind her that she is oh (looks at watch) 23 YEARS OLD and needs to stop hanging out with 12 year olds on her 2 months away from 12 year olds (yes she is a teacher my school)

So I might have personal motives considering Im lonely and Im freakin obsessed with Abra and want to be in her presence always. So the more people that give her a hard time for going away to summer camp, Parent Trap style, the better.

I was counting down the days until she came home and it motivated me to clean the house. It looks ballin. 
Today, La Russian  picked Abra and I up and we crossed another -Vacation in Austin- hot spot off of our list. We went to Barton Springs. It was perfect on this sweltering day. The natural spring was cool and refreshing..and did i mention cool. 

Abra and I will definitely become regulars...oh wait....not until next summer when she decides to be in her 20's again and we start ligering around Austin in search of young professionals. That is if I make it back from England. (15 days!)

I hope you are enjoying your summer as much as me
la beast

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

What I love about Austin::: {Blackberry Pickin}

If you asked me how I like Austin my response would be 

"Ummmm. IM OBSESSED with it"

I love everything about it. I havent found one thing about this great state's capital that I'm not instantly in love with.

But if you ask me what my favorite thing is about Austin I would answer immediately
"Oh I know this. South Congress for sure. Town Lake is obvious....and the view of  The Capital from S. Congress is stunning"

But then Id stop there. Because thats all I do. I contently bolt around to the same amazing places.This summer Ive decided to take a vacation to Austin. Explore my city. Every nook and cranny.

Today's adventure involved Brother, Pearl, and some berries.

Brother and I ventured into the gorgeous Hill Country taking the scenic route. 
With the top down we were winding up down and around the most beautiful views of Texas. Just brother and my Pearl Girl. The top was down and the Beatles were blaring. Brother was really good at his dance moves.
An hour later we drove into this adorable Berry Farm. 

The berries were so juicy and scrumptious looking!

After frolicking through the berry fields we headed back to town. Pleased as can be.

la beast

What is your favorite thing about your city?

Friday, June 11, 2010

Santa Fe

Im in the beautiful and quaint town of Santa Fe, New Mexico this weekend,  spoiled rotten.

All expenses PAID!

la beast

(I am in the process of a blog facelift. Bear with me until everything is hot and looking good.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Oh Venice! Oh Venice!

24 days until I am darting around England causing a raucous with Ster-fry (and Daphne)
Its about time I get my act together and start planning. With the way my memory has been these past couple months Im just lucky I remembered that I needed to plan!

Yesterday I tore my house to shreds looking for my passport. I drove all the way to Temple to my old car looking for my passport. I had my parents rip their house to shreds looking for my passport. 
Guess what??!
I will scurry over to the official passport maker place tomorrow and see what kind of maneuvers I can pull. 

I didnt find my passport but I DID find a GOLDEN TREASURE. I found some of my old writing. Silly stupid poems that I wrote on a train in Italy Summer 2007.  This piece is classic (and long..sorry).
It is about my 18 hours in Venice. Enjoy!

Oh Venice! Oh Venice! 
What a memory we have.
Thinking back on that day,
all I can do is laugh!

When I first saw you, 
I knew it was love.
But when it was time to leave you,
I had had enough.

It was your charm and character that drew me in,
Canals, gondolas, and Italian men

First we began, 
on a good start,
but after 18 FUN FILLED hours 
I was ready to part.

Hungry as ever we went to have lunch
By your beautiful water, on a pizza I'd munch.

Ready to shop the 7 of us went
But poor and frustrated inside I would pent

Money was a problem...
because I had none
My ATM card was broken,
Something HAD to be done!

A few tears later, and a call to my dad.
He called the bank, now things weren't so bad.

Time to split up- 
be back quarter to six
Emily, Melissa and I 
walked around and took pics

We spent most of our time
 in St Marks Square.
With thousands of tourists,
 you I would share.

When we met up,
 new friends Lindsey had found.
With Dan, Joey and Brad
 we were gondola bound!

The 10 of us split
 into 2 boats,
For forty-five minutes on your love
 we would float

It was perfect and relaxing, 
I didnt want it to end
but another 25 Euros on you 
I could not spend

So back to St Marcs Square to feed the birds
An unbelievable sight! Pigeons flock in HERDS!

Hilarious it was, 
a sight to be seen
With your dirty pigeons on me
 I had to scream

Ready to leave and wash my hands
the group of us pondered on our new plans

So a party of 10 we went to eat.
That seafood restaurant of yours was hard to beat.

That is when the vino began to flow
Comfortable and talkative began to show

The next stop was crucial,
of course a wine store!
By the end of the night, 
we would come three more!

Hanging out in your square, 
under your stars,
Nothing can compare
or come close to par.

Now this is when it gets good 
Are you ready to listen?
The next several hours 
is why YOU Im not missin'

You are complicated and confusing with ferries and trains
My worries and frustration to you I would refrain

By 10 oclock 
we all had to be back
But for 2, a watch they needed 
and obviously lacked

They were 10 minutes late 
we decided to go, 
Only 5 girls now, 
The others location unknown.

The ferry was full 
so we didnt get on
When we got to the station 
our train was long gone.

"Why dont you have trains running all night?"
Is a good question I wonder.
It's just not right.

So stuck with you we are until 5am
Its a miracle we survived and are still sane.

back to the square we begin to WALK 
Worried about Jenna and Melissa we start to talk.
"If they are in the hotel sleep and sound...
tomorrow their heads in we will POUND!!"

Ha Ha we were just kidding, 
dont get your panties in a twist.
No, I probably would have tried, 
swung and missed.

We get there, its late, the creeps are out
Two 40 yr old men hit on Laura, no doubt.

Finally we move 
but the destination far
Too tired to go on...
We stop at the BAR!

That is when you introduce us to your local boys
Smoking, laughing and making lots of noise

Flirt with us they do, 
while playing a game of spades
Conversation and jokes
 is all we would trade.

Continuing our journey, 
to the station we head
When a sight of Rialto Bridge, 
by its beauty we were lead.

After a good peaceful break 
we decided to truck
But nothing could erase, 
the fact that we were stuck.

At least, I felt safe, 
on your bridges and roads.
It was during that hour. 
our wine buzz would corode.

When we got to the station we were not alone
For several other homies call it THEIR home.

We were clearly,
 the new kids on the block, 
The others had blankets, 
and even a cardboard box!

Cold, sick and needing some cover
to the doors we bolted one after another.

Of course they were locked,
more time with you we spent
I would have killed for some warmth 
that you never lent

Looking around, 
Natalie moseyed through the trash
A treasure she found, 
that none of us would bash.

Extra trash bags we stretched 
over our legs
The others were jealous
 but never did beg

For TWO hours we lay 
waiting for it to open.
When it finally did, 
there was cheering and whoopin'

5 AM came
and ended our time
It was worth it I guess, 
because I made this sweet rhyme

Oh Venice! Oh Venice!
It is You I love and hate, 
But to be honest, to come back, 
I just cannot wait!

la beast

Monday, June 7, 2010


Summertime just got WAY more exciting.

Pearl is making friends fast. She gets lots of attention on the road, especially from the big liger trailers and sexy male sport cars. 
We went on our first road trip this weekend to Dallas.
She met the parents for the first time and had fun with all the other valeted cars at Blaire and George's wedding. She saw the lights of downtown Dallas and felt like such a big girl traveling so far from home. 

She brings me so much joy.
Thank you Jesus.
I really needed my Pearl Girl. 

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Meet Pearl!

oooo PEARL oooo

Thats right ladies n gents. 
I'll be bolting celebrity style from now on trickin up Austin with the classiest girl around, Pearl
She is dainty and sweet but knows how to Holla! 
She only plays my favorite songs on the radio aaaaaaaaand she can play my ipod static free. 
We've already fallen in love. 


Marti and Alias danced around town with us yesterday and we went on a scavenger hunt. Pearl is flirty and makes friends real fast. Holla!

We've been discovering Austin all day and now were off on our first lil roadie to Dallas. 

Have a glorious and beautiful weekend.
Pearl and I will be thinkin about you!

la Beast

Friday, June 4, 2010

Happy Birthday Phammy

Happy Birthday Pretty Lady. 
You are a frosted cupcakes with sprinkles or a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day.
You are the color yellow.
You are the definition of happy and I love being around you.
You are a model for humanity. Wise and loving. Smart and beautiful. 
You are talented and determined, worldly and witty
You are absolutely incredible and I cant get enough of our friendship.

Good Luck on your Audition. 
Pretty Lady