Monday, August 25, 2008

WHAT is my deal?

Seriously- what is my problem? I am no where near where my excitement level should be right now. Am I broken? I have not been myself lately. I leave for England FRIDAY! only THREE full days left. I should be jumping for joy, bouncing off the walls, shouting HORRAY at the top of my lungs while doing toe touches and backflips on my way from the living room to the kitchen. So why after all these months of anticipation am I am suddenly filled with anxiety?

Everyone I have talked to recently plays like a broken record. 
"Taylor- you are going to have so much fun!" 
"Taylor this is the chance of a lifetime" 
"You will remember this forever"
While I find these words comforting and true my emotions are everywhere I don't even know what to think or feel.

It's the goodbyes....
Leaving work and work friends of 2 years 
Leaving college station my home away from home that I surprisingly grew to love of 4 years
(that includes football season & delta gamma)
Leaving my roommates and friends
Leaving mexican food
Leaving my extended family
My brother/best friend leaving for Florida
Natalie leaving to go back to school
Elise leaving to go to grad school
Pham leaving to work in NY
Leaving sam. period.
Leaving my parents. 

Leaving the only life I know for a life I cant even begin to predict or imagine..

This is too much sadness for one month. 
Thank goodness Laura is coming with me- the only tangible string that connects the past with the future.
Sometimes I am too sentimental. I need to skip over this mushyness and get over it. I am going to England for pete-sakes. 

Some things I am praying for. Your prayers are welcome as well.
1. A safe arrival for me, Laura, Colette and Laurel. 
2. My students that I have not yet met. Pray that I am able to influence, teach and affect their lives the way God intends me too and that they do the same.
3. For my mentors at St. Annes School. 
4. That I pursue God's plan for me whatever it may be and whether I like it or not!

Thanks- they are much appreciated :)


JP said...

I am thinking good thoughts for you!!!

JP said...

Also, I love you and if you read my blog, you'll know that It'll Be OK!!