Thursday, December 30, 2010

Fears

I was sitting at lunch with brother and bestie yesterday and we were reminiscing on one of our favorite childhood memories. One day after school the t.v. was on in the kitchen when we were getting snacks. The Maury show was on and he was making guests confront their fears.  We died laughing when this guest, Fifi, was forced to be in the same room with a cat. Her reaction was so memorable we continue talk about it all these years later. I think the most interersting- coincidental part of the whole episode is the fact that her name is Fifi! Something I would most definitely pair to a cat.




It got me thinking about if I have any phobias. If I would act that crazy at the sight or sound of something. Indeed I do. Roaches. I detest them. Detest. I have a fear of them but an even bigger fear of killing them. I hate the sound it makes, the way it squishes. SICK! I hate everything about them. When I see them I scream.

As many of you know I also hate New Years. I guess you could say fears are heightened for me around this time. With the seconds ticking to the close of 2010 I am reminded of my accomplishments but also my failures with each echoing tick. My fear of not meeting a goal for the year bolts to the front of my mind as time runs out. Anxiety sets in as I evaluate the quality of my year. Was it everything I had hoped it had been? Did I take full advantage of everything I was in control of? Did I try to control too much of it and lose sight of my main focus? Which ball did I drop?

I heard this somewhere. Life is a game of juggling 5 balls, family, friends, faith, health and work. Work is a rubber ball and if dropped will bounce back up but the other 4 are glass. If any of the other 4 are dropped they can be permanently scuffed, marked, cracked or even shattered making repair difficult if not impossible.
I know this year I have been exhausted for a good portion. Looking back during that time my juggling was off. I was running around trying to catch each ball from falling before it was too late. Sometimes even diving to catch a ball. No wonder I was exhausted!
All of the 5 have a strong connection with each other and the loss of one affects the others. Look down at your feet. Which of your life's balls are on the ground? Look in the air. What balls are you juggling? Are there balls at your feet because you have added balls to juggle? Are you fighting to keep a 6th or 7th ball in the game?

As we start this New Year instead of resolutions and goals, I just want to be more aware of my game. How's my juggling skill? The better I get the more balanced my life will be.

So Happy New Year to you and yours.
May God bless your 2011.

Cheers,
La Beast

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