Monday, November 10, 2008

How to do Just About Everything

I was given this book to look at in the staff room and found my self seriously addicted to it. It even says on the cover "this book is seriously addictive". It is a How to Book on basically any and every topic you can imagine. Example. How to plant a lawn, replace a light switch, prevent show odor, add vegetables to your diet, find out if you are pregnant, brush your teeth, write a love letter, cancel a date, the list goes on and on.

So I was caught up on the "How to kiss on a date". I thought I'd share, just incase you dont know, verbatim the book's directions.

How to Kiss on a Date
1. Look for positive body language, such as eye contact, uncrossed arms and head tilted towards you.
2. Do it. Waiting just makes it awkward.
3. Maintain eye contact as you close in. Try not to close your eyes until after making lip contact.
4. Tilt your head slightly to one side to avoid bumping noses
5. Press your lips gently against your date's. Try not to suck his or her breath away just yet.
6. Release. Look into your date's eyes. If he or she isn't look back at you the same way, then you probably shouldn't continue.
7. Kiss your date again. There's more flexibility to this kiss.
8. Explore- softly kiss your date's neck, ears and eyelashes. By this time you'll never have a better feel for how and where to kiss your date.

HOLD ON! EYELASHES??? I could see that potentially being the most AWKWARD unromantic move any guy could make!!! I would think to myself "is he?.....oh. he...KISSING my EYELASHES?!?!
Did I just miss the boat on having my eyelashes kissed? Is it secretly the most attractive move that no one filled me in on..or is everyone on agree-ance that the EYELASHES are one of the last places to kiss. I could see someone going in for it and then I accidentally open my eye (because I can't see he is about to KISS MY EYELASH) and then he instead kisses straight on my eyeball which in turn ruins the night and a possible chance for a second date. No one wants that.
So guys, to avoid the feeling and humiliating thoughts that will play on repeat for the next week "Did I really go in to kiss her eyelash?" Yep! you did! My advice- stay clear of the eyelash.
Not once in my 7 year long relationship did I think to myself. "Man, he would be so dreamy if he would just kiss my eyelash"

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