Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Crazy little thing called love

Geez Louise! All this talk about love has got me talking a lot... about... love. Fancy that.

(photos: wehearit)
Well not really love...but the Love Languages. Have you heard of them?

When considering any person you love (relationships, friends or family) you might want to play detective and figure out the best way to love them. But in order to do that, first you need to find out what YOUR love language is. Click here to take the test.

Someone fancy and important (a kid named Gary Chapman) thought real long and hard on this crazy little thing we call love and came up with his idea of everything. He says there are 5 different ways people show love, receive love and all around speak the language we call love. Lets get right to it.

1. Receiving gifts: These people feel most loved when receiving gifts. Don't dare miss their birthday.

2. Acts of service: This person would feel loved if I did the dishes. Sorry "La Roommate" I bet you felt unloved all year last year. I just hope and pray my future husband doesn't speak this love language.

3. Quality Time: It doesn't matter what, when or where as long as its with the other person. Quality time is a big one for most of my friends. They keep me on my toes and my schedule booked.

4. Physical Touch: Unexpected kisses? Who doesn't like that? ...but I could do without touching. My last bf complained of my lack of desire to cuddle, or hug, or hold hands. This was the language he spoke. My friends also complain that I'm horrible with physical touch. La Roomate and I have a deal.. When she's upset there will be no hugging or a pat on the back. In fact dont even expect me to get up off the couch, instead I'll just reach across the ottoman and give you a nice comforting toe tap.

5. Words of Affirmation: Actions don't speak louder than words. Compliments, praise, notes, (comments on their blog) phone calls just to say "I miss you" make this person go wild.

And this person would be ME. Telling me how you feel is FREE and it doesn't require much time. A simple text goes a long way. I don't need expensive gifts, or a huge amount of your week devoted to me. I don't need you to do laundry or do the dishes. I don't even need you to cuddle (maybe sometimes). Instead, an "I love you" in a text changes my day.  Bestie and Lindsey have figured this out and stay near and dear to my heart because of it. My mother called just to tell me how much she as looking forward to my visit last weekend and it changed my mood entirely.
I would LOVE to date another "words of affirmation" language speaker. We could send the daily texts and meet up once or twice a week to cuddle. Perfect.  He would understand my need for independence because he cant be in a smothering relationship either. GENIUS!

The reason its important to know your love language is because you usually speak your love language. I am constantly praising my students at school. I will go out of my way to praise a student for the smallest achievement in order to give them those words of affirmation. Your Birthday card might end up being 25 reasons why I love you. Your Christmas present will be nothing more than a poem.
But as much as Abra enjoys my "Abra I think you're the best" compliments that I pull on her she would like nothing more than for me to sit on the couch and watch "Sliding Doors" with her. (good movie btw)
My friend Lindsey is content sitting side by side on the couch, silently surfing the internet on our own computers. She also speaks Quality Time.

Marriages and relationships can fall apart with two people trying their absolute best to make things work. Why?
Because they are loving their partner according to their personal love language as opposed to loving their partner the language their partner speaks.

Im pretty much an expert now after this post. Ill be here all week.

This is my lover saying "Come on La beast lets go to England" and Im like "Ok yay! I love life!"

Time for me to meet my man in my dreams.
Wait is that how it goes?


Alex said...

this was really cool! i'm a quality timer, it turns out.

Anonymous said...

much mucho interestante!

I'm definitely an affirmative words gal. Absolutely.
I don't like being touched when I'm upset and was never much of a snuggler so I thought that I was def. not a physical touch type, but I've found that with certain people I'm okay with it.

Bree said...

This was so neat! Not surprisingly, I got 'acts of service' and 'quality time.' I could sent this to my boyfriend, but I already know what he would get; physical touch all the way!