Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Lost: Brain. Reward: Remembering to pay you

Thats it!  Im going to the doctor. I am so frustrated and upset that my retention ability is declining rapidly that I started tearing up today while doing the dishes. (note: I was doing the dishes) (also note: that I hate doing the dishes) I dont understand what happened. Why, over the past couple of months, I have felt lost, cloudy, disconnected, off my game.  Is it all of the adult duties (haha i said doodie (aaaand im a middle school teacher)) that are suddenly overwhelming me?

I KNOW I wasn't always like this. Up until this year I have NEVER carried a planner. In college, I was queen of being social, I lead organizations and I never missed a meeting. Of all the meetings I had with different people at different places at different times, I just filed it into my memory's calendar.

I took dance once when I was 3. Then in 8th grade I decided to try out for the high school dance team. I didnt know how to dance....BUT i did have a good memory. Because I could memorize the moves so easily, I got to focus on the technique that I had missed all those years. I made the team of 50 girls that spring and even danced my way into the elite dance team of 13 girls later in high school.

I wouldnt say Im naturally brilliant (sucks) but I used to credit my high success in school to my memory. Its why I like science. Mere memorization!

Aaaaaand getting to the point. I have lost my classroom keys AGAIN! But what you didn't know was...that key I lost and found and lost again...was already the LAST spare key in the school. Because I had lost my others.
eff. M. L

At least I am able to connect to my A.D.D kids and why they get so frustrated because they keep forgetting their pencil....or homework..or binder...or brain in their locker. I now feel their pain.

Im too tired to proof read this. Hope it isn't swallowed in nonsense.



Praying for you...right there with you...I know it is frustrating...it could be one of many things that is making this occur...mine stemmed from certain meds that I was on...Like I said though praying for you and just try to take a deep breath when you feel that overwhelming sensation come over you and just ask God for a little peace!

Amanda West said...

I'm praying for you as well. Don't give up.

I've got Panic Disorder and it keeps my brain in shambles. On top of the meds I have to take.

You just gotta keep fighting.

LAstar said...

I'm sorry Taylor! I feel like that happened to me somewhat when I was teaching. Keep us posted on what happens!