Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Lost: Brain. Reward: Remembering to pay you

Thats it!  Im going to the doctor. I am so frustrated and upset that my retention ability is declining rapidly that I started tearing up today while doing the dishes. (note: I was doing the dishes) (also note: that I hate doing the dishes) I dont understand what happened. Why, over the past couple of months, I have felt lost, cloudy, disconnected, off my game.  Is it all of the adult duties (haha i said doodie (aaaand im a middle school teacher)) that are suddenly overwhelming me?

I KNOW I wasn't always like this. Up until this year I have NEVER carried a planner. In college, I was queen of being social, I lead organizations and I never missed a meeting. Of all the meetings I had with different people at different places at different times, I just filed it into my memory's calendar.

I took dance once when I was 3. Then in 8th grade I decided to try out for the high school dance team. I didnt know how to dance....BUT i did have a good memory. Because I could memorize the moves so easily, I got to focus on the technique that I had missed all those years. I made the team of 50 girls that spring and even danced my way into the elite dance team of 13 girls later in high school.

I wouldnt say Im naturally brilliant (sucks) but I used to credit my high success in school to my memory. Its why I like science. Mere memorization!

Aaaaaand getting to the point. I have lost my classroom keys AGAIN! But what you didn't know was...that key I lost and found and lost again...was already the LAST spare key in the school. Because I had lost my others.
eff. M. L

At least I am able to connect to my A.D.D kids and why they get so frustrated because they keep forgetting their pencil....or homework..or binder...or brain in their locker. I now feel their pain.

Im too tired to proof read this. Hope it isn't swallowed in nonsense.

3 comments:

MuLtI-CoLoReD SPRINKLES said...

Praying for you...right there with you...I know it is frustrating...it could be one of many things that is making this occur...mine stemmed from certain meds that I was on...Like I said though praying for you and just try to take a deep breath when you feel that overwhelming sensation come over you and just ask God for a little peace!

Amanda West said...

I'm praying for you as well. Don't give up.

I've got Panic Disorder and it keeps my brain in shambles. On top of the meds I have to take.

You just gotta keep fighting.

LAstar said...

I'm sorry Taylor! I feel like that happened to me somewhat when I was teaching. Keep us posted on what happens!