rawr

today i was this big guy on the left

and everyone i came into contact with was the little guy on the right.

apparently i don't handle overwhelming amounts of stress well.

and my students are not capable of bringing pencils to school on test days

or any regular day

i might quit teaching for this sole reason.

just kidding

probably not

maybe

no

ok

 going to bed

Meet Kanye

Meet Kayne (Kanye) Phiri

This is the 11 year old child I sponsor. I was asked to sponsor a child from Zambia over Christmastime and was a little hesitant. I haven't really involved myself in African missions as I see there is so much to be done in our own country as well. Not that I am against it, I have just been caught up serving elsewhere. I think I mentioned on my blog before about my passion to foster children or adopt an early teenager. It will happen. Some day. Some how. But for now I will continue to care for the 120 + children I can mentor daily in my own classroom. 


As hesitant as I was...I couldn't resist this precious face! Oh lil Kanye...

How could you not?


So now I give Kayne (kanye) a quality, bible-based education, nutritional assistance, clothing, and medicare. I just received pictures in the mail INCLUDING a wallet size so I can show off his pouty smile to everyone who will let me :)


If you are interested in loving on someone like Kayne, then check out Family Legacy Missions International.

Ridiculous(-ly long) story about how Im awkward

There are so many things I want to blog about but I have to be patient. Now is not the time. Instead I can tell you how awkward I am. 

1. I usually REALLY enjoy awkward situations.

2. I am perhaps making these awkward situations more frequent...perhaps.

Scene  

Narrated by: Someone other than la beast...maybe

Location: Austin, Texas. Apartment of Mo-Pac. Purple Couch. On the uncomfortable break between the two cushions. Between two pretty people (which makes la beast intimidated)

When: Monday, March 22, 2010 approx 10 pm

Who: La Beast + her beautiful bible study ladies

What..... happened:

La Beast walks in dressed to the nines in her carefully picked outfit, navy skirt, mustard blouse and cream cardigan.  This adorned with her carefully picked (and equally as fancy) 4$ necklace and paired with her $20 yellow bag. She smiles, with a hint of exhaustion and opens her arms out for hugs, and for queso. Seeing her friends gave her just the right burst of energy coming off of this long 12 hour work day. 

La Beast chats with the ladies about cute apartment decorations and Justin Bieber while the remaining girls arrived. Munching on chips and queso in the meantime. Her aderrall was starting to wear off and her mind begin wandering. It was time to begin. That's when la beast chose to sit on the purple couch, noticing the  candy screaming her name from the coffee table rather than the uncomfortable cushion crack her rear end was getting cosy with.

La beast's intentions were good. She wanted to contribute to the group this week but she just couldn't. She didn't blame the adderall completely. Its not that she wasn't listening, she was. She just wasn't thinking about what she was listening to. Awkward silences came and went, skipping along their merry way. La beast just couldn't form an opinion as to what she was listening to. It wasn't a terribly difficult topic to comprehend. It was about sin for pete sakes! Everybody has/does it! La Beast is very well acquainted with it. 

The ladies went around giving their thoughts, la beast learning from each and everyone, observing- thoughtlessly. As the evening went on la beast began to drift farther and farther away from the topic now filling her thoughts with other things such as,

"Did I give the neighbors back the extension cord we borrowed?"

oh wait! No! I didn't

Its still outside

Crap it thunder-stormed since then

Its all wet.

I wonder if I can touch it. Is it ruined?

I hope its not in a puddle

I should know this, I'm a science teacher!

But I don't want to get electrocuted. Like the warning labels on the hairdryers.

Who would blow dry their hair while bathing anyway?

idiots

La Beast is shaken from her overwhelming mind rant to a shift in conversation. Prayer requests. She is surprised to look down at her journal to find she had doodled the word "Prayer Requests". She didnt even know what she had done. La Beast looks up to see if anyone had noticed her absence.  They probably had.

The time was getting closer for La Beast to share. The anxious feeling she had rid herself of weeks ago was beginning to creep back. She jotted down notes so she could remember what to say. She reminded herself to speak slowly as she is known to speak so fast she doesn't make sense. La beast recorded every girls' request intentionally praying as she wrote each word. when la beast began to speak she prefaced with a sigh, one large enough to warn the population of the world ending but really it was a sigh of "Here goes La beast. Try not to make a fool out of yourself" Her request was quick and painless and bible study was over.

 La beast was happy to now have the opportunity to bond with the girls over  depthless issues like how they should all stop eating the queso but they cant. Nope. Wrong. Bible Study NOT over. It was time to "end in prayer" The leader stated that instead of one person end in prayer each person was to pray for the person to their left. OUT. LOUD. as a group

La beast wasn't facing the leader, but when those words hit the heavens her head whipped right around. 

"You mean, out loud?....Like out loud?" The rest of the group silenced their side conversations and all tuned in to her pre awkwardness. "yes" The leader responded.

The churning activity in la beast's stomach was replicated by the word vomit that spewed for all little ears to hear. "AHHHH! But I cant pray out loud! Like Im horrible. My prayers suck to begin with because I always stop mid prayer and start over unhappy with how I was wording things. But then it doesn't really matter because He knows my heart anyway and...and...uhh... do we have to?"

The leader looks around "No. You don't have to but I encourage it." 

La beast begins digging her grave. "But if Im the only one who doesn't do it...then everyone will know I cant pray out loud" La beast didn't notice that everyone was already listening. 

Wait. Thereeee. She caught on. 

She continues, "Well now this is awkward! because when it gets to me everyones going to be listening to how awkward Im going to be and then Ill be thinking about that which will make me awkward. Perfect La Beast. Way to be awkward"

As the narrator, I agree. Perfect La Beast, way to be awkward. The girls kind of chuckle...kind of. Which just adds to the drowning level of awkwardness. 

Right. Time to begin the closing prayer. Bearded dog Charlie (ew) prances around trying to touch la beast with his beard. As if she needed another distraction from what she was about to say. She needed a freakin script. To read word for word! She wasn't all about this improv business. 

She was next. La beast started out strong. because thats all she had time to repeat in her head over and over again. Then her mind followed through...like it does everytime. Dont get it wrong here folks. It followed through in failing her. Like erasing itself of every word in the English language and instead filing it lyrics from the Spice Girls and unconjugated spanish verbs like "Bailar" 

It stopped working mid sentence too. Which is always La Beast's favorite. It was silent. For a long time. Maybe 45 seconds. Two girls try and hold back their laughter from the other purple couch. You know? the kind where you are trying so hard not to laugh that you end up making a small goose noise as the air pushes past your sealed lips. La Beast laughs too and then quickly apologizes "Sorry guys, sorry"

Uh oh. Now she's done it. This could not be the ABSOLUTE WORST time to have the giggles. Now instead of focusing on prayer all La Beast can think is "do. not. laugh. shit taylor. do. not. laugh." The girls from the couch laugh again and La Beast whines like a 1st grader "Guuuuyyyyys! Stop laughing at me!"

I, the narrator, could punch la beast. grow up. finish the prayer. shut up. you are not allowed to talk to people and will go to time out when you get home. 

Prayer Share finished and no one mentioned her awkward prayer in hopes to deplete any further embarrassment.

La Beast came to the conclusion.

 or rather in front of people..Which is odd. Because she does it for a living! Who certified her to be a teacher with this illness.

Its times like this she just wants to...

and wallow away in self pity. 

So...

End Scene.

Ay Babay

Ay Babay

Ay Babay, Ay Babay

Ay Babay

Lets just pretend that I flew on magic carpets over rainbows and through enchanted troll dwelling forests with these hunks in my dreams last night.

Lets pretend that Adam Brody wasn't only rubbing my feet but that he could turn tickles into diamonds.

Lets just pretend that I didnt have to dream about Ed Westwick whispering sweet, british-loving "rubbish" into my ear as he ran for Prime Minister of my heart.

Lets just pretend...That I didn't have to pretend

Because it was all true.

ay babe-ay

(only in real life penguins would be included)

Cathedral of Junk

These pictures are from January GASP!

When Crash came to visit and we went to the Cathedral of Junk. 

I brought Diana and we played.

Only in Austin

Would there be a tower of junk

that is molded and cemented together

to form art

in some dudes backyard

that you can climb on

for free

Only in Austin

SXSW

SO South by Southwest is incredible. I love it so much. Get ready for lots of annoying posts and pictures to come. But for now enjoy this post I found from a blog I frequent, Hipstercrite. In order to survive this week of madness, take this advice. 

SXSW Survival Gear

by Hipstercrite

You're in Austin.

You're about to see an ass load of indie bands perform out of every nook and cranny of this city.

It's 95 degrees, then it suddenly hails, then it goes back to 95 degrees with a humidity index of 99%.

You spot a boy who wears a smaller jean size than you and you are determined to make out with him by the end of the night.

It's late, you're drunk off of Lone Stars because you only had seven breakfast tacos about twelve hours ago, and you have blisters lining the bottom of your feet.

These are questions and scenarios that will arise this week during SXSW.

Don't be unprepared!

Follow my survival guide list below and you're sure to have a worth-while and healthy SXSW experience.

1.) The Fanny Pack- Fuck purses. Who said these ever went out of style? WHO? TELL ME! I recommend theAmerican Apparel shiny denim fanny pack in royal blue because it's awe-inspiring. Look at it. LOOK AT IT! Pretty.

2.) A Pair of Tom's Shoes- Never mind. These hipster staples are like having a thin layer of burlap separating you from the ground. I can't believe they're donated to a child every time a pair is sold. The next generation is going to grow up all jacked with arthritis.
(*this statement is in jest...Tom's is a great company that does a lot of wonderful things)

3.) Cheap Brightly Colored Wayfarers- Because in a way we're all still stuck in 2004, aren't we?

4.) Cardigan- Texas weather is known to be a fickle one, so make sure to carry around a cardigan with you for night or when it spontaneously rains though the precipitation level is 0%. Also, throwing on a cardigan over any shitty ol' outfit, will suddenly make you look more intelligent than you actually are.

5.) Clean Underwear- 'Cause Lord only knows what you're going to do with your current pair of underwear.

6.) Scrunchies- Ladies, you make fun of them, but you know you secretly love them. Who is going to hold back your hair when you're puking up all that free Hornito's in the Beauty Bar toliet? Not that DJ with the florescent bike cap. He's been eyeing the girl with the non-prescription horn-rimmed glasses that are over-taking her face all night. You always have a friend in the scrunchie. 

7.) Fake Mustache- Because you don't want to feel left out in this city.

8.) Business Cards- Business cards legitimize you. Even if you have nothing to sell. 

9.) Granola Bars- The nice thing about Austin is that we're not a bunch of assholes that bump up the price of everything while you're visiting. However, your eating times might be off and in order to not get wasted by 4PM, it's worth carrying some snacks around with you (Dear Lord. I sound like my mother).

10.) Water- Blah blah blah boring

11.) $1's- For when you wander off alone to the strip club near the airport during a drunken blackout. Right, Marcos?

12.) Air Mattress- Often enough couches are better than air mattresses. Most of the time you wake on the hard wood floor, the mattress having deflated like that of your hard-on after popping way too many Adderall. However, the couch might already be taken by the time you get there, so make sure you come prepared. 

13.) Chapstick- Because by the end of the night, your mouth is going to look like that of a crusty crack addict.

14.) Diana Camera- To commemorate the night you get shit-faced with Bill Murray or corner David Byrne up against a wall and explain to him how you two were always meant to be together...in lo-fi.

and don't you think twice about me bolting around with Diana yesterday. We had lots of fun and she was quite a conversation starter. One band member noticed my Diana and gave us free tickets to their show later. Neat Diana.

For the gamers out there

Brother (a gamer) found this video about a year ago and shared it with me. I think its hilarious and brings me back to the days of super nintendo. I still remember the day that brother and I got our first actual nintendo. I remember going down to Tom Thumb groceries and picking it up. I was maybe 5. Brother would get so excited while playing that he would run in place with his lil tongue stickin' out. He'd start running so fast that he'd slip in his footed pajamas and fall over biting his tongue in the fall. Cute little brother. 

I never got into any other games beyond Super Nintendo. Nintendo 64 got too complicated. I like the ones where you only have to run one direction (right) and jump. My all time favorite includes Donkey Kong and Aladdin. Anyone? Anyone? I knew Aladdin was one hunk of a man even back then ;)

 I had a dream I was on American Idol last night and that I was going to sing this song. 

SPRING BREAK 2010!

So Im having issues with the fact that I am NOT in England right now. I am still trying to convince myself that it is a good thing that I didn't travel anywhere on my week off. I did head to Dallas for an extended weekend. YAHOO!!

DALLAS SB 2010!

So exciting! 

(note my sarcasm)

One convincing factor that it was a good idea to stay put over spring break is that on Sunday I could NOT keep my eyes open. I slept SO much. I definitely needed it and would not be able to sleep if I was surrounded with british accents (men) in an exciting place such as London.

I also wouldn't have had a wine and dinner night with the "Tiny Dancers" if I was in England. A free meal made by a fabulous cook. Yeah I could have had wine and a fabulous dinner, but it definitely wouldn't have been free nor would it have been spent with such good company :)

I wouldn't have worked out with "bestie" at the "skinny jeans" class at Equinox gym for FREE if I was in England. My legs would still be functioning properly and I would not be so sore to the point of immobility  if I was in England right now..but whats the fun in that?

I also wouldn't have gone to the Dallas Zoo with "Crash" if I was in England. A cheap $12 entertainment choice. Look at all the money I saved!

And I got to see this lil guy!

He's wavin!

"Hi! Im fancy!"

these beauties are fascinating

The picture below is a remake of a picture we took once when we were 17 in NYC. Ill try to find it and put it up to compare.

The elephant and giraffes were in a temporary home while their new home was in construction. 

(and since Im sick I sound 5 yrs old)

But I really shouldn't be complaining because Im getting LOTS of visitors in Austin this weekend. Its the South by Southwest film/music festival and lots of celebrities are in town. 

Its my time to shine! Cant wait to bolt around with huge sunglasses and hipster wear with Adam Brody on my arm. sigh. a girl can dream cant she?

Dont second guess that I wont meet every celebrity I can.

other visitors include:

Cousin Lora + friend

Bestie + boyfriend Patsy

Shannon + boy...friend

Timothy made a 100 on his super duper hard quiz on Faults today! 

Like Im talking 30% failed

 And he made a 100!!!!!

yeah yeah!

John Mayer is not my favourite

(I typed favorite like favourtie because it looks fancier. Can I just start doing that to all wourds?)

Monday these three ladies and I blended in with all the UT college kids and saw John Mayer in concert.

I had never been to a Mayer concert and I must say I was not impressed.

Im an intimate concert kinda girl.

I like to be front row, know the musicians, and be their best friend.

Even if I could be John Mayer's best friend, I wouldn't.

I actually think that if I met John Mayer we would be in a fight.

Not a fist fight.

But rather an "I don't like you fight"

These seats are called

The "Teacher Seats" 

because these are the only seats teachers can afford

Laurel and I were just really excited to be in a roomful of people that weren't 4 or 11 year olds (respectively) on a week night. You know...people that can go to the bathroom by themselves and people that can carry on a conversation without tattling.

All in all, my opinion

John Mayer = great guitarist

John Mayer = douche bag

and my favorite part of the whole night was being stuck in traffic and playing MASH!

my husband = NOT JAMES MORRISON (tear)

my wedding dress= lime green spandex with orange triangles

my mode of transportation= stilts

i couldnt find any sandcastles

Phew!

I feel better

I realized that the fuel for my frustration was that I hadn't fueled my self enough today.

i.e. hadn't eaten more than a breakfast taco and some nilla wafers.

So I ate

and searched for some sand castles to kick 

couldn't find any in austin

so i worked out

(stared at my pull up bar)

then read some blogs to get my mind off things

Now my mind is off things. 

so

.....

I was frustrated

I also have a spontaneous friend 

:)

all is right with the world

england here i come

(in july)

I would give ANYTHING

to be here RIGHT NOW

hanging out with them

and listening to this

and getting hugs like this

from the most adorable lovelies ever

I want to be in England so bad right now that it is hurting me.

Hurting me because I CAN go.

because I have the week off

because I can afford it (kind of)

because i want to be spontaneous and just go

because I could have all of these things

but its not safe for a small gnome like me to travel alone.

and I am surrounded by non spontaneous people.

who pretend to be spontaneous

but aren't

maybe I shouldn't blog when I'm frustrated. 

bad idea

bad la beast. 

Its all about me

I feel like you dont know enough about me and I also wanted to know what it was like to be vain like John Mayer, so I posted a post all about me! I prance through fairy fields when I blog sometimes, or thats what it seems like. Most posts are cheery and happy but rarely do I give insight into the depth of my being. 

Here it is. all laid out on the table. mostly. :)

1. i have a fear of the ocean

2. if i could be anything other than a teacher i would be a meteorologist. the one that is on t.v.

3. i have never seen casablanca or gone with the wind

4. i have never had a cup of coffee

5. i drink sweet tea from Sonic on a daily basis

6. i cant spell

7. i dont care about grammar

8. i hate being tickled..which confuses most because I am laughing and squealing at the top of my lungs.

9. I have cut a wedding cake and it is a stressful job

10.  I could eat a cheeseburger for every meal

11. I was a good kid until the age of 8 when I heard "no" for the first time. Then i started throwing temper tantrums. I went through my terrible twos 6 years too late

12.  I dont like fancy desserts

13. Id rather have seconds on a good meal over dessert

14. when i was mad at my teachers i used to write really small almost illegibly to some how get back at them

15. due to heredity i am supposed to have twins and will be really bummed if i don’t

16. I used to not like red heads. now I hope i have a ginger.

17. I don’t like bearded dogs. shave that or get it away from me.

18. i used to cry on my brothers birthday because he is younger and it was two weeks before mine. 

19. i am attracted to musicians

20. I look up to my younger brother and want to be him

21. I rarely get sick

22. I wish I could speak another language

23. I dont really crush on movie stars

24. I once crushed on a movie star- Adam Brody. Then i made a facebook account and was in a relationship with him on facebook just so I could see how it looked. I was 21.

25. Then girls wanted to be friends with him on facebook and sent me hate messages

26. Then I stopped being in a relationship with him

27. Girls also sent me hate notes in 7th grade because the boys they liked, liked me. How is that fair?

28. I bite my nails and I really wish I didn't

29.  I dont really know what to do when boys are nice to me

30. I think faster than I talk so most the time I dont speak in complete sentences. It is a problem and can be embarrassing.

31. One time, on April Fools, when my brother was taking a shower, I pounded on the door and screamed "ALEX THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE" he came out crying and I got in trouble.

32. one time, for christmas, i gave my brother a box of cotton. I thought it was hilarious. he did not

33. the next christmas my brother gave me a box of cotton. he thought it was hilarious. i did not.

34. my first kiss was like a scene in a movie

35. i have been in love once

36. In 9th grade I got in a fist fight with my best friend "bestie"

37. In college "bestie" and I took a road trip from NY to TX. We got in a fight in West Virginia and rode the rest of the ride home in silence. It. was. Miserable

38. She is still my best friend

39. I am intimidated by pretty people

40. I hate the fact that my mom was 36 when she had me. I want more time with her.

41. I love Jesus

42. My best friend is Jewish

43. I hated bible studies until I found the one I am in now.

44. I used to eat everything on my plate because I didn't want the left over food to be lonely. I wanted it to be inside my stomach with the rest of its friends.

45. Same with trash. All trash to the trash can for the trash can party. (i am weird)

46. I believe that fairness is not about everyone getting the same treatment but everyone getting what they need

47. I just recently started eating bacon

48. I try really hard to be a good friend and keep up my friendships.

49. I am terrible at giving gifts. 

50. I wont wake up to our neighbors sing a longs but I will wake up to a text message when my phone is on vibrate

51. My phone is always on vibrate. I haven’t heard my phone ring in years. I don’t even know what my ring tone is. Probably something like All American Rejects “Dirty Little Secret” from 5 years ago.

52. I am extremely shy in new situations. Then I get crazy

53. I ordered the Time magazine to become more knowledgeable on worldy events

54. I dont eat mushrooms because they are decomposers and it grosses me out

55. In high school I was awarded dancer of the year on my dance team and I will be proud of that until the day I die

56. I actually was going to go to OU and made a last minute decision to go to A&M

56. I still haven't decided how I feel about that decision. It was alright....I guess. I think I would have been a completely different person

57. I choreographed/directed a 10 minute routine for a singing, dancing musical competition for my sorority and it won 2nd place and best choreography. SHOULD have won 1^st

58. I love going to out of town conferences and not having to pay for them

59. I take any opportunity I can to travel

60. My brother and I didn't become friends until I left for college

61. I know all of the words to “right round” by flo-rida

62. I pretend to rap or shall I say “flo”

63. I made a 4.0 in college

64. I am NOT naturally smart but really wish I was

65. During prayer sometimes I mess up and say "no wait! God I didn’t really mean to say it like that. Let me start over"

66. I sing most of my actions and truly live in a Taylor made musical. la roommate will attest to that

67. If you ask me a rhetorical question, I will answer it.

68. I love watching sports but cant play them

69. I like fancy things like fake pearls, heals and high waist pencil skirts with cardigans

70. and also penguins because they are always dressed to impress

71. my living room walls are bright green

72. I have had a dream I was falling and I didn’t wake up during the fall. I actually hit the ground…and then bounced back up. What is that about? Seriously, if you know…tell me!

73. I always have to look in the back seat of my car when I get in to make sure no one is there.

74. I have been almost kidnapped twice. Once in 4^th grade and once when I was 21.

75. I am extremely aware of my surroundings due to the first incident in 4^th grade.

76. I know how to maim you

77. I love backward hugs. When the guy sneaks up from behind.

78. Chivalry makes me melt

79. I have lived in Boston

80. I am obsessed with everything British.

81. If I could play any sport I would want to play football

82. but I cant so I play kickball

83. I love the smell of my sheets at my parents’ house

84. I like wearing boys sweatshirts

85. In 3^rd grade I had little people that lived in my desk at school. They were called “The Littles”, were the size of a quarter, and had tails.

86. I love surprising people

87. I hate Hayden Panettiere

88. I wish I had a bigger vocabulary

89. Im allergic to ammoxicillian

90. I have 1051 best friends (says facebook)

91. I abbreviate words that you wouldn't normally abbreiv

92. I try to bolt around like a celebrity any chance I can

93. I went snorkeling in Belize, cried, had to be pulled to safety because I thought I saw a box jelly fish (deadly). The thing is you cant see box jelly fish. I was 20. Refer to #1

94. I dig Earth Science

95. If I could change anything about my appearance I would want dimples

96. I think collarbones are pretty

97. I have never broken a bone

98. I love names. My parents bought me name books starting at age 12.

99. In 9^th grade I was broken up with on my actual birthday (Grayson Nichols douche bag)

100. I would take a note telling me how you feel about me over a gift anyday

101. I still listen to Hanson

Sigh. Dont you feel like best friends now?